Peace
by japtenshi
Summary: James is getting married to Misty, and Jessie doesn't take things too well
1. Jessie

Hey, this is my first fic in the Pokemon section, well actually anywhere…! *GASP*! Everyone run away from the wannabe author who has no idea what she's talking about! This is just an idea I've had for awhile and I hope you enjoy it! I might another chapter to it if I understand how to do the chaptering system…^__^() please review it, so that I know if I'm a failure at an author or the next writer for a great anime siiiiiigh…email comments to japtenshi@yahoo.com…aren't I so creative with pen names?  
  
I thought I knew I what love was, and I'm tough, okay sure I'm not the nicest person in the world, but I still have my moments. I laid my eyes on him first and that makes his beautiful body mine! No matter who the hell this red head thinks she is! We've been together through thick and thin, the best of times and the worst times several of them caused by her! Stupid fiery redhead, she already had two other morons to boss around, but she came and took my only human one.  
  
1 You are cordially invited to the wedding of Master James Morgan and Misty Waterflower  
  
The wedding will be held at the Morgan Estate in the Grand Gardens behind the Mansion  
  
The Reception will be promptly afterwards in the dining hall of the main mansion.  
  
A map of the house is included as it is easy to get lost.  
  
I guess team rocket wasn't all he wanted, and neither was I. What's even worse is that I have to suck up my horrible feelings of pain, guilt, anger, the list goes on and sit there happily as the maid of honor since James insisted and Misty couldn't pick one of her damn sisters, so in exchange Misty picked Ash to be his best man.  
  
Does anyone care about Jessie? No, everyone thinks she's just a selfish bitch who only cares about herself. Well I tried to be a good leader and I failed so everyone now thinks its grounds to make me feel like the world is just better off without me. I loved him first even though it was tough love and no one can see it, he was so adorable he when he retaliated back at me, with his stunning green eyes. Even though he almost always cowered in fear I fell in love with his warming heart, and the way he always listened to me, for once in my life someone actually did what I wanted. Not to be confused with walking all over him, thank you very much but to know for once in my pathetic and miserable life, someone cared. I never planned on carrying out any of those threats, most anyway. Maybe that's what happened, was my tough love to overpowering for James? I mean I knew he was sensitive but I never meant to crush his spirit as he has destroyed my heart.  
  
After Meowth died, James and I grieved in different ways and I just let him go, figuring it was his way of coping with death, I should've seen the signs. What's even worse is that he hid it from me! I was completely clueless and always figured he was gay, so I kept my feelings to myself not adding more stress to him then society bears on his shoulders for being that way. Since it was just the two of us, we tried to split up chores, and since I burn water I did cleaning. Lo and behold one day I smelled strange perfume on his clothes and thought his "boyfriend" took the gay thing to and extreme level. It wasn't until one night when he and I planned to go see a movie, yes actually paying for it and then all of a sudden he backs out. He refuses to tell me and I knew something was up and I followed him and saw him run into HER arms. I later learned she was upset because she had told their relationship to that twerp Ash even though it was obvious he loved her and he got angry.  
  
James found angry when he got home, it's bad enough I swallowed my pride thinking he's gay but another woman I couldn't handle especially our worst enemy. Best friends don't do that! It's like a silent vow you take, and keeping secrets isn't supposed to appear there either. We had a horrible fight I'd never forget, if I had any control over time, even a deal with Coronus himself I would take back that moment. It never really hit me that this was happening until he said he loved her and wanted to marry her. I've always wanted to hear those words, believing they would fill the bitterness and stinginess with happiness and joy. Instead I felt the unbearable pain of heartache and rejection. I've only had this feeling once in my life, and that was from my mother. She left me for her own accord, and look where she is. The very reason I had forsaken love, and it has come back to hurt me yet again.  
  
Oh mother, why did you go? I'm so lost without you! I thought I had found her in James with his warm spirit it's so motherly you can't help but to feel safe as I once had. Now that he had Misty, he didn't need me anymore so in one afternoon he packed up all his stuff, hung up his uniform, and left taking a part of my soul with him. We didn't share a word between us, it was so awkward, and we've never been apart since our days at Pokemon Tech. I screamed his name and cried my heart to him, only after the door banged and he drove away. If I had cried in front of him, he would have seen my weakness, and I wasn't about to let that happen, I have pride, I'm an independent woman. Although sprawled on the floor in tears I didn't feel so liberal.  
  
Thus began my voyage of downhill depression. I never expected that heartache could be so upsetting and painful. This was a new feeling for me, as a teenager when most people deal go thought it, they get over it with someone new, but I couldn't. If Meowth was here, I might have been able to at least come to some sense of sanity and being but my thoughts started taking a suicidal turn. I realized how meaningless my life was, and without James to help, the jerk, I believed that everything I had done became wasted. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have met that stupid lobster! I talked him into all the horrible stuff we did, and he said I needed a lesson in gratitude? He needs a lesson in friendship and betrayal. I thought that I would never speak to him again, and I would never get my revenge against him, because I sure as hell wasn't going to suck up the little dignity I had left to call him.  
  
A few weeks later, "the heartbreaker" as he came to be known called and invited me to his wedding to the devil in the tasteless outfit. This completely through me off my nice 12 step program on getting over the man you loved who thought was interested in men and decides to marry a wannabe one instead! Even though I was still on step 2 is beside the point, I was trying to cope with this delicate situation that is tearing me apart! Step 1 is hard enough, after destroying everything he left behind and ripping his head out of all of the pictures of us, then you get to step 2, the step after insanity and on the road to rational. Then had the nerve to ask me to be his little whore's maid of honor since she chose the best man. I should have said no, you want me to be the person to yell I think you shouldn't be together because that's what I'll do. But no like the pathetic lovesick person I am, I said yes, I'd be glad to. He sounded so happy, and apologized for his offensive manner about our fight, of course I accepted but I was sorry for not saying how I felt.  
  
It's funny how you remember every little detail of your life before it ends, especially self-inflicted. Today is his special day with her, so I plan on making it a day he never forgets, even though he won't forget it because it will be his wedding anniversary, but he took something from me, so I'll take something for you Jimmy boy, as Meowth would say. When he finds the note I left, it will be way too late. I had to delicately plan this in my mental state, it wasn't easy and it's not the best subject to bring up at a dinner table. Especially when you eat alone in your tiny home, that you tricked someone into giving you, because one of us was terminally ill. I never had friends, only enemies besides James and Meowth, and it began to take its toll.  
  
Then I began analyzing everything I had ever said or done that could have possibly turned James away from me, yet he still remained my friend. Sure I'm a just a little high maintenance, doesn't mean that I can't love someone. All right, so I'm extremely, high maintenance but still I guess it's my fault for never telling him how I felt. All the blame and self pity only pitted me deeper into depression, and since I had no support I fell deeper seeing no purpose to my existence and how much everyone would gain from my death.  
  
All of this now brings me to the present, now realizing that in my life I have never truly accomplished anything to be proud of. Sure everyone has those moments of importance, and I have a couple, but even as a crook, thief, and all around bad person I failed. I couldn't even catch one stupid Pikachu! I hate electricity now by the way. I like water, almost as much as her, so I choose it as my final place hoping he would see that I could be as good, no better than she could ever be for him. I left a note, I figured I might as well give him an explanation so that he doesn't feel like total failure as a friend, which he is! People always want to know what the final thoughts of a person are when someone dies, well mine are the cause, I love you James Morgan, I always have and probably always will. I hope you never forget me and someday you'll see that you love me. This isn't for attention, well some of it is, but I hope you are happy James without me. Taking my final breath I leaped over the bridge into the water, it was a high bridge and I felt like I was free, of all the pain and guilt. I've never really flown, well I've been blasting off quite a few times, but I've never felt so free, and when I hit the water I felt a sense of peace and serenity over come me as I drowned.  
  
So what did you think? Please review!! If you think it's good, then I'll do another chapter about James's reaction and the letter Jessie wrote, this was just her state of mind not the actual letter. Thanks!!  
  
-JapTenshi 


	2. Author's Note

Oops! I forgot a disclaimer…it took me a few days to realize it, and my lack my of reviews (; _;) that I didn't have one, so I don't own Pokemon, if I did I wouldn't have my sad pathetic attempts at writing fics. So please review! I might work on the next part this weekend with either James or Misty's point of view 


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